“I don’t think it matters what the subject is. What matters is that the teacher wants her there, and is interested in including her in a meaningful way.”
This is what I said in the meeting with the Life Skills teacher and vice-principal at the start of 2024 as C entered the second half of her grade 8 year. It didn’t seem like there would be a push to get her into a general education class unless I pushed for it, so I asked for the meeting. I told them about the Air Tag, and how it seemed like C was using her behaviour (running out of the Life Skills class and into the other classrooms down the hall) to communicate her interest and curiosity in what the rest of the school might have to offer her. I shared the different ways I was feeling that we (families of students in the Life Skills program) are excluded from the culture of the school at large. I had seen the student council’s Instagram, for example, and there seemed to be so many initiatives, activities, events going on. The Life Skills students need support to know about and participate in these opportunities, and how can we make that happen?
“What is Life Skills?”
This is what a parent asked in the first PAC meeting I attended at the high school. The meeting where I had to stifle my tears after listening to the student council president and the counsellor and the principal talk about all the events and activities happening that my kid was not going to be a part of. I was glad I attended and I’ll keep attending because I guess part of my job is to make sure other parents know about the class at the end of the hall where only a handful of students get opportunities to enrol in a general education elective class where they might encounter the kids of these other parents.
“We’ll start with 15 minutes in the Computer Science class and see how it goes.”
Those were the words of the Life Skills teacher when telling me about the plan for having C enrolled in a general education class. However, C had other plans. She stayed for the whole hour. I received positive reports on how well she was doing and how pleased everyone was. Then there were a couple of times before spring break where things didn’t go so well. Then she started being offered a choice of going to Computer Science or to PE with the rest of the Life Skills class. She picked PE more and more until I didn’t hear much of anything about Computer Science anymore. “What if the timetables for Life Skills students and the rest of the students are in alignment, so nobody misses something fun like PE when they choose to participate in a general education class?” This is what I asked as the year was ending.
“We have a continuous dialogue on how we can include our students in a variety of experiences.”
This is the reply I received when I sent an email with an idea about how “FIT” blocks could be used to offer more inclusive opportunities. It’s a continuous dialogue. And yet, there was the Summer Carnival that happened and nobody in her Life Skills class was aware. I didn’t go to the dance performances, the music concerts, the drama productions. Why would I? There are no efforts to get my kid involved in them, even though she loves performing on stages. Besides, they invariably take place on her adaptive soccer night. I would rather see her actively engaged with something designed with her in mind than sit in an audience and watch all of her non-disabled peers show their talents.
“She’s a keeper.”
That’s what the Life Skills teacher said at the IEP review meeting. Of course she is, but that doesn’t mean she can or should be kept. A similar remark was made at the meeting in early 2024 when the Life Skills teacher said that his class has “the best students” and the vice principal agreed. “Then you need to share the wealth!” I said. “Give other teachers an opportunity to get to know how great they are!”. C can’t and won’t be kept in one class. Not when she started her schooling being known by every student and staff member and knowing every room of her small annex. Not when she discovered at her next, bigger elementary school that the office was the hub of it all and she should hang out there as much as possible. It was interesting that once she was given a scheduled time to be in an elective classroom she stopped making her unplanned visits. Yet she still couldn’t be kept or contained. She decided that the school library was a great lunchtime hangout, and made it her place to go every day after having a bite in the cafeteria. Later in the year she started venturing into the Learning Assistance/Life Skills class, since students from that class had been to hers. She knows that she belongs everywhere and it’s the others, the ones who haven’t caught up to that belief, who are the problem.
“She’s just going to keep exploring, so it’s probably best to facilitate that.”
Those were my parting words at that last meeting of her first year of high school. Being part of more of the school, in classes and all other spaces, is best for her and best for all of her peers in that Life Skills class. They are “keepers” who should not be “kept” anywhere, valuable students whose value should be shared school-wide, humans worthy of being a part of a whole and diverse community that WANTS them there and will create spaces to ensure they belong. And that is what we will continue to work towards, in the second year of high school.
So beautifully written, and so accurate. I teach elementary school and I always worry about the transition to high school, especially for kids with learning differences. I’m so glad you are able to advocate for your daughter but I know it’s an exhausting role and I wish it weren’t necessary.